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Women Are Crazy Pt.1; What We Lie About And Why

10475111_1519151851639789_845305309_nWomen lie to their friends, we lie to our boyfriends, we especially lie to our parents and we lie to ourselves. But ask any woman what are her top qualities she looks for in a man and I bet my last bundle of Brazilian hair that “trust worthy” and “honesty” are in that top 3. Hypocrites or nah?! I’ve made an effort to stop lying. I’m so honest with people that it hurts the both of us sometimes. And while I’ve made progress, every now and then I lie. And I’m a damn good liar. It’s not something to be proud of, it’s just something to be aware of. I guess it’s one of those “when I want to do it, I excel at it” kind of things. What a horrible thing to put your mind to and be great at. Lying. SMH.

Lie #1: We lie about how we feel towards our ex/sh*tty current boyfriend

I’m the biggest offender of this act. I know my friends roll their eyes every single time I say “Nah, f*ck him. For real.” I even add a “this time” to that so they believe me a little bit more. But in my heart of hearts? I know damn well I don’t usually mean it. Well, it depends on the ex…Normally the better he was in bed, the higher of a chance he has to come back into my life. At least, I used to think this. Recent events have proven otherwise.

Lie #2: We lie about how we feel towards our friends’ boyfriends

Have you ever sat and listened to your friend go on and on and on about her man and all you can think is “He’s not even cute enough for this.” ? I have a particular friend who seems to love ugly men. To her, they’re “fine as hell” but every single one, I promise you, is ugly. And I always say “Ohhhhhh he IS cute! Good for you!” And I never mean it. I wait until they break up and say “I didn’t think he was cute anyways.”

Sometimes lying about how you feel towards your friend’s man is crucial to keeping your friendship. If she’s in love with a douchbag, you can’t really point that out all the time because that’s the man she loves. It’ll hurt her feelings. So when she calls you to rant about what a sh*tty guy he is on Tuesday, don’t remind her on Thursday; once they’ve kissed & made up. She’ll almost always defend him and then will feel funny towards you.

Lie #3: We lie about our weight

I know girls bigger than me, who will swear to you up and down that they’re a 7. I’m gonna tell you right now, I’m an 11 and depending on the jean, sometimes a 13. I have thick thighs and a big butt. I was a 9 in high school and while it’s a goal size, I’m not going to lie about it. When we gain weight, we blame it on the clothes. We blame it on our relationships. We blame our period. You never hear a girl say “God, I’ve really let myself go. All those nights of netflix and cookies have caught up with me.”

Lie #4: We lie about how big you are. To you and to our friends

Size really doesn’t matter but no guy wants to hear “No, your d*ck isn’t big but it still feels good.” Even if they say themselves that they’re not big, they don’t want to hear us say it. So we lie. We tell them they’re the best, we gasp and moan when they enter us even if we can’t really feel it. We fake orgasms for their feelings. And when we rehash the night before to our friends, we leave out the fact that we had to masturbate with our 10″ vibrator as soon as he left.

Lie #5: We lie to our bosses

“Can you come in earlier and stay later?” Sure. “We can’t afford to give you a raise right now, ok?” Okay. “Can you operate a forklift? Because if not, you can’t work here.” Yep! We don’t like to disappoint our bosses. So when they ask us to do things that we have issues with, especially male bosses, we feel inclined to please them. We don’t want to look like we’re not as competent as our male co-workers and we never want to sound like we’re complaining. For whatever reason, women are less inclined to challenge pay and ask for raises. Men demand their money and won’t budge a penny less.

Lie #6: We lie to your parents

“Your son is amazing!” When we really want to say “B*tch you should be ashamed of the caveman you raised! What’s wrong with you?!” We’ll never tell your mother that you aren’t sh*t. Not if we respect and care for you. The women who do, don’t give a sh*t about you or the future you two could have. A woman who wants to be your wife, will tell your mother that she loves her curtains, her meatloaf and her son. No matter how ugly, dry or sh*tty they are.

Lie #7: We lie to our children

The Easter Bunny. The tooth fairy. Santa Claus. We tell them all the horrible things that probably won’t happen if they don’t listen. Almost everything results in them breaking their neck or something horrific. We hide vegetables in their food, and we trick them with bubble gum flavored medicine. They hate us for it but later on, they’ll realize it was for their own good.

Lie #8: We lie to sales people

We tell pushy salesman that we already have that service. We say we got this full priced jacket from the 40% off rack. We say the store down the street has this product for cheaper. All of that.

Lie #9: We lie to our doctors

We tell our doctor that we use protection every time. We say we’ve never missed a birth control pill. We say we don’t drink or smoke. We tell them that we perform our own breast exams in the shower with our hands up. We tell them that we take vitamins, work out 3-4 days a week and drink 6-8 glasses of water a day and sleep 8 hours every night.

Lie #10: We lie and say that we don’t lie.

And we can make ourselves cry to further prove our innocence. Trust me.

 

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5 Ways To Keep Your New Relationship Intact

You’re in a new relationship – congratulations! The sex is great, he holds the door open for you, and you can’t stop smiling. Welcome, darling, to the infamous “Honeymoon stage.” Everything’s new, everything appears perfect, but is it really? You aren’t perfect, and neither is he. Let’s pull off the rose-colored infatuation glasses for a moment to help decipher whether this relationship is the real deal.

1. You need to stay over.

Never rush to move in, but make sure you stay a few nights. If you’re looking to get serious there’s nothing wrong with staying over his place, or visa versa. This is a clear opportunity for both people to get to know the living habits of the person they’re dating. You’ll find out if they’re messy, their sleeping patterns, and if they ever cook at home. This could be a make it or break it moment, so proceed with caution.

I can’t stand a guy who’s messy. If I come over and your bathroom is gross, I’ll be uncomfortable. Don’t have clothes all over your room, don’t have piles of disgusting dishes in the sink and don’t ask me to “excuse the mess.” FOH. Take your trash out, you animal. 

2. He can’t always pay.

Sure, he pays for the first couple of dates, and on sites like WhatsYourPrice.com, he even pays you to go on the first date, but this shouldn’t happen forever. As a lady with a job, you need to make an effort, even if he declines your offer. On date three you should be suggesting a contribution, then proceed to discuss how outings will be handled in the future.

I’m not above splitting the date up. If we go out for dinner and drinks, I don’t have a problem offering to pay for the movie. Or if we just do dinner, I’ll cover the appetizer and the tip. We just started dating and I enjoy your company, I don’t want you to be hesitant to see me because I’m expensive. 

3. Sensitive topics must be discussed.

On a first date, most people avoid bringing up religion and politics – unless they want to send their date packing. But after you’ve been dating someone for a couple of months, you shouldn’t be avoiding a discussion about Socialism or Hinduism for example. Speak your mind before it’s too late! No one wants to date someone for 6 months only to find out they have fundamental differences.

I almost always discuss religion, or I watch and see if a guy pauses before eating, to bless his food. I’ve tried dating guys who flat out told me they didn’t believe in God. Needless to say, it didn’t work out. I don’t care who you vote for or who exactly you pray to, but having faith in a spiritual figure is attractive. And if you’re Muslim and I order something with bacon on it, just stfu. Don’t try to convert me until we’re married.

4. You need to see each other at your worst.

I’m not saying you should throw yourself down a flight of stairs and see what happens, but if you find yourself sick, or in a car accident when you first start dating, it could set an enlightening tone for your future.

Does he help take care of you? If he is feeling under the weather, are you at his place with homemade soup ready to give him a massage? If you care about him, and he cares about you, you’ll go to great lengths for the well-being of your partner.

I remember dating a guy and I got in a car accident. He said “damn, are you okay?” and then proceeded to suggest we stay in that night, and that come to his place and cook. I was so annoyed I stopped talking to him. It was completely inconsiderate. Had he suggested to cook for me, then fine. But he was selfish and it showed. 

5. You need to give more than you take.

Successful relationships take ample work and generosity, so be a giver. Taking is great, but you need to give as well. Make him dinner or surprise him with tickets to the game. Fellas, bring her flowers, or surprise her with her favorite takeout. Everyone wants to feel special, and it’s even more special if both people are involved.

I’m a natural giver so anyone who dates me usually always ends up spoiled. However, I always seem to date takers. I would love to sit back and be in the other chair for once. I like flowers, edible arrangements, random cards and teddy bears, all the cute sh*t girls like? I like. 

Embrace the Honeymoon stage, but don’t get blindsided by it. The last thing you want is to waste your time when you could have been with someone more fitting.

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Trey Songz Drops Interactive Video For “Touchin’ Lovin” WATCH IT HERE

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Directed by Jason Zada, the steamy video allows viewers to “explore Trey’s fantasies” by selecting different objects throughout. Each choice prompts the next sequence of events in the video, which will vary depending upon your selection.

Trey told us the interactive component was a way his fans could get even more, ahem, intimate with him: “I have a personal connection with my fans and I wanted this interactive video to be a way for them to get a glimpse into my world and my fantasies in a new way.”
The interactive video can be viewed on mobile with a free app. Once downloaded, the app will activate the video here.

This video is extremely sexy, as is every video Trigga does. Enjoy!

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10 Reasons Nice Girls Become Crazy Ex-Girlfriends

heart-break-cuteAt some point, every crazy ex-girlfriend was just a nice normal girl with a nice normal life — then she met a guy that literally drove her crazy.

1. We care a lot (and usually way too much)
Nice girls are used to giving 110 percent to anyone and everyone they care about: their parents, their friends, the homeless man on the street, and their significant others. So, they give a guy their whole heart and expect the same in return. When that doesn’t happen, they are devastated and it drives them crazy to think someone doesn’t reciprocate the complete devotion that they give.

2. We are optimistic and hopeful
We are always expecting the best out of everyone and every situation. So, when we enter a new relationship, we think it will be magical and last forever. We seriously just can’t help it. We just aren’t realistic about really anything. So, when it ends like everyone around us told us it would, we are crushed. Mind, body, and soul. Crushed.

3. We are givers
Giving is our game and we play it well. We love to give to the people we love. Whether it’s small surprises on the reg just to show how much we care or huge extravagant surprises to let our man know he’s the best, we just love to give. We eventually give until we can’t give anymore, and when we aren’t being given anything, we just run out of fuel and it breaks our little hearts.

4. We are over the top about life
We just love to love and be alive and run around smiling and laughing and giving people flowers and being ridiculously annoying. We’re really just too much. Too much to handle and too much to deal with for a long time unless you just really love us and accept our ridiculous ways. That goes for when we’re sad too. We are dramatic and let the whole world know how sad we are, which makes us look pretty crazy. Sorry we’re dramatic and sorry we’re either way too happy or way too sad, but we seriously don’t know how to stop it.

5. Our emotions get the best of us
We cry when we see two old people holding hands or one old person eating alone. We cry when we watch any and every movie with Rachel McAdams in it. We play out these romantic scenarios in our heads that will probably never even happen. We plan out our futures the moment we meet a guy. It’s ridiculous, we know, but just leave us alone. We can’t help we’re hopeless romantics.

6. We need affirmation
We nice girls have to be reminded daily or ten times a day that we are beautiful, special, cool, loved, fun, neat, awesome, nice, etc. It doesn’t matter if you told us last week that you’ll love us forever, we need to be told now and later. Sorry, it’s the way our fragile little brains work. It doesn’t make us dumb or weird, it’s just how we function. Tell us we’re pretty. Tell us you love us. It’s not that hard. But, when weeks go by with no affirmation – yikes. Watch out. Because you’ve just unleashed an emotionally unstable monster.

7. We think everyone’s else’s brain works just like ours
Nice, sweet girls just have this naive belief that everyone else in the world is nice and sweet too. It rocks our world to know that other people (mainly our significant other) aren’t always thinking of ways to make other people happy. War and violence? No way. Our boyfriend isn’t oozing with affection for us? You’re kidding! Naive and never understanding why that guy isn’t always thinking of ways to make us happy – that’s us. We’re sorry.

8. We don’t plan for goodbye
“You can plan for a change in the weather and time, but I never planned on you changing your mind.” That’s a great quote from a great song, “Last Kiss,” by a great person, Taylor Swift. She hit the nail right on the head with that line. As a nice, sweet girl herself, Taylor is letting the world know how tragic it is when someone tells us goodbye because we just never thought it could happen. It’s not that we think that highly of ourselves, we just aren’t usually the ones that say goodbye. There are exceptions, sure, but for the most part, we are in it for the long haul with friends or boyfriends. We commit and we are buckled down and ready for forever. We like plans and boy do we hate when those plans get messed up. It’s hard for us to cope with someone throwing a wrench in our perfect plans, so we go a little bit nuts and bolts when a guy says goodbye and leaves us feeling all messed up and broken.

9. Love not war
We are all about some love, no fighting. We don’t want to fight, we really don’t. Love makes us so happy, and no love makes us so sad. When we get into arguments with our significant other, we just want to say, “Okay let’s just not fight and let’s make up right now and pretend it never happened.” We don’t want to “give each other space” or “take time to think” because that does no good in our minds. We want it solved and we want it solved now. We want to just be happy and loving and we usually cause another fight because we won’t just give it a rest.

10. We just really do believe in love and happy endings
We grew up being told of this Prince Charming dude that would come knocking on our doors. We bought into it and believed it wholeheartedly. We didn’t watch the Disney movie where the princess DIDN’T get the prince. So, when we meet someone who we think is here to rescue us from the fiery tower, imagine our surprise when he leaves us in the tower! How rude. We just want a fairytale, so when we get just the opposite, it’s hard for us to believe there’s someone else out there. We’ll get over it, we swear, but first, let us cry hysterically and post a super sappy tweet about love and broken hearts. Call us crazy, but it’s how we deal with Mr. Charming bailing.

So, next time you encounter a crazy ex-girlfriend, just remember, she was once (and still is) a nice, sweet, loving, optimistic soul that just wants some love. We know you aren’t the one, and that isn’t your fault. And she’ll figure that out too and send you some long, tender text six months after you break up about how she’s moved on and she’s thankful for what you taught her. And she means it. It makes her look even crazier, but just take it for what it is – a nice girl letting you know she isn’t as crazy as you told her friends she was.

And when you find that one that you will marry and love forevermore, chances are, she was a crazy ex-girlfriend one time too.

-Kaitlin Chappell

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The 4 Types of Guys She’s Dating While She’s Single

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Being single.

It’s a gift and a curse. In the beginning of your single-hood, it’s like recess after being in detention. The air feels better on your face, you’re anticipating seeing all of your friends and sunlight. You just want to break free and run wild. Take that same freedom and turn it into P.E. It’s not a free gym day, it’s that day where they make you do all those stupid a*s fitness tests. You have to climb the rope, you have to do push ups, you have to sit on the floor and reach for that board near your toes, and you have to run the mile. By the time it’s all over, all you want to do is go back to your faithful, comfortable desk and put your head down. That’s what it feels like after being single for too long. Everyone’s time frame is different. Some people can be single for 2 years, others get antsy after 2 months. I’m the latter. I don’t like being single and I don’t know how to “enjoy” all this freedom. I’m a girlfriend-kind-of-girl and I like being held accountable for sh*t. Call me crazy.

It’s been……….. 7 months maybe? And counting. And I’m just about ready to lose my sh*t. Not because it’s cuffing season either, but because dating bores me. I don’t like scheduling time with Adam on Monday and Steven on Thursday. Texting John on Friday and getting coffee with Troy on Sunday. It’s exhausting personally, but I was told it was necessary. While you’re single, apparently you’re supposed to date more than 1 person at a time, until titles are discussed and agreed upon; you’re supposed to test the waters. Whatever. I’m just waiting on Drake to grow out of his hoe-phase anyways so none of these guys have a shot in hell, really.

(Kidding, kind of.)

The consistent homie-lover-friend.

This guy has been around in between breakups, but you don’t really see it going anywhere. He’s her security blanket. The sex is good, he makes her laugh when she’s pissed at the idiot she loves, and he’s familiar. She doesn’t have to get dolled up to hang out with him, and he’s seen her crying/sick/asleep on more than one occasion. There’s genuine love between them, yet neither of them are in-love with each other. He complains about the women he’s dating, and she offers unbiased advice. And vice versa. They joke that they’ll probably end up married since they have such sh*tty luck with the opposite sex, and that’s just fine.

The nice guy, who’s just nice. 

He probably adores her but she doesn’t really feel anything with him. He’s more-so a distraction. He makes her feel good, he compliments her, he takes her out, he bashes her ex for letting her go, he looks at her how Edward looks at Bella. But there’s something about him that keeps her from taking him up on his “let me be your man” offers. Maybe he’s bad in bed, maybe he’s a bad kisser, maybe he just gets on her f*cking nerves in general. She’ll waste his time, but he’ll be fine with it. I’m not sure why, it just happens that way.

The new guy, who’s exciting and different from the last guy; she likes this one. 

He’s her pair of red bottoms. Something she swore she never needed, but couldn’t pass up. He’ll catch her eye and showcase potential. They’ll have great chemistry at first and hopefully it’ll last, but the next guy is why it probably won’t.

The sh*tty ex, she said she was “done with” 13 times. 

For some reason, and it’s more than likely the explosive sex they have; she can’t get him out of her system. She’ll always have a burning passionate love for him. No matter how much time passes, how many great guys she meets in the meantime, this guy can always come back. He knows this. She knows this. And it makes for a very dangerous cycle. He’ll break her heart, again, because that’s just what he does. She knows this train is going nowhere but the ride feels so damn good; she doesn’t care. She’s completely stupid over this one guy.

So, how do you juggle your way to the front of the line? If you’re the homie-lover-friend and you want more; speak up. More than likely, she does too but as a woman, she’s not going to be typical and push you into a relationship. Point out to her how good the two of you are and why it just works with her, and no one else. Speak now or lose her. If you’re the nice guy, switch it up. Be nice to another woman, let her notice it. Don’t bow down to this woman so quick, she has to gain respect for you. And unfortunately, you have to make her jealous. If she gets jealous, she’ll realize she likes you more than she thought. If you’re the new guy and you know you two have a great connection and everything feels right, flat out ask her to be exclusive. It’s the only way (hopefully) you get the ex out of the picture. If you’re the ex who’s broken her heart repeatedly but “want to do things right this time” *rolls eyes* you have two options; FINALLY DO SOME SHIT RIGHT AND STOP BREAKING HER HEART. OR, let her go for good. Set her free so the new guy who makes me laugh and feel beautiful, can have a fair shot.

I logged onto Facebook on Thanksgiving (huge mistake) and literally, 4 of my friends had gotten engaged that day. Meanwhile, I was sitting here man-less at a table full of women. I plan on taking cheesy holiday pictures next year and having someone to taste stuff as I cook. Mark my words.

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Having His Back Means More Than Laying On Yours; How To Be Supportive

Iggy_BF_Support1When I was a cheerleader, I thought my purpose was just to be fly on the sidelines. It was all about us. We were pretty, we were friendly, and we did splits, I figured the game was about us. It wasn’t until I later transitioned from the sidelines to the locker room, as a manager for the boys’ basketball team, that I realized I had been wrong. Well, the game was about the players but we were just as necessary. Cheerleaders were there to lift the spirits of the players, to encourage them and make them feel invincible. When a player scored a touchdown, one of us would shout his number out, do a series of flips and kicks and cheer extra loud for him. Even if they lost the game, the cheering never stopped.

As I enter grown woman territory and prepare myself for real relationships, I’m glad I was a cheerleader then, because now it’s natural for me. I’m very big on emotional support for your spouse. I see and hear women (and men, but women especially) who put their man’s dreams down. They don’t encourage their men to do sh*t, and when he tries, they point out what he didn’t do good enough. Now, recently a guy tried to date me and I wasn’t in the mood to be his cheerleader. He’s a 30-year old chain smoking aspiring rapper. I have an issue with that because it doesn’t seem like he’s made any steps towards that thus far. No youtube channel, no competitions, no mixtape, no social media, nothing. He’s basically well connected with some producers in his family and decides “I’m gonna be a rapper” at 30? No sir. Plan B needs to be in effect, a degree or at least a JOB. That was my 3rd issue. The 1st were the cigarettes. Deal breaker.

Moving forward, if your spouse has a dream or something they’re very passionate about; support that in any way that you can. I’ve seen guys shout their women out, with a simple re-post of her work page. If she does hair or makeup, they posted it. If she had her own boutique, they spoke highly of it. If she was out here grinding, period, they gave her props for the World to see. What bothers me, is that I don’t see it a lot from women. They’ll post the shoes and bags that his hard work enabled him to buy, but not anything about what he does. Maybe he’s a dope boy or a scammer, so yeah I get that. Lol

Me personally? I can’t date anyone who isn’t passionate about something. I tried, it never worked. The main reason why is that they didn’t understand my drive and my passion. And they definitely weren’t encouraging, because they didn’t have a passion of their own. They weren’t aware of how important that was to me. Lack of drive ended my off and on 7 year relationship with my daughter’s father. Not the other bullish*t relationships experience after that many years. I remember telling him I wanted to be rich and famous one day, and I asked him what did he want to do. He said he liked his job as a security guard and had no need to do anything else. It bothered me so much that I lost all hope in a future with him. If you like security SO much, why not invest in your own security company one day? I know you’re looking at me like, I should’ve supported that, but I couldn’t. I want more out of life and I need to be with someone who will push me towards that. We can’t be a power couple if I’m the only one with power. That’s how women lose respect for their men. And I didn’t want to get to that point with him. Then I tried dating a guy who had never read my blog, at all. That was a disaster. This was pre-lovejfab days and all I had was a sh*tty tumblr that I sometimes wrote personal pieces on. All he had to do was look at pictures! He couldn’t and wouldn’t, he simply had no interests in my passion. It infuriated  me. I would be excited about something he had no idea what I was talking about. Every day, he said “I haven’t read it, but I will.” Eventually I stopped caring, altogether.

Celebrities Attend The New Jersey Nets v New York Knicks Game - February 20, 2012

A simple “have a good day at work babe” works wonders when he’s walking out the door. An “I’m so proud of you!” feels incredible.  Even if you would rather they spend more time at home, say it anyways. If your spouse has a hobby they’re really into and you could really care less about; still, support them. Don’t ever refer to something the person you care about, likes, as a “thing”. That’s a relationship SIN. Don’t discredit their dreams because you can’t see them. That 30 year old aspiring rapper is fine, because I’m not with him. If I felt like he was serious about it and had shown me effort, then I might’ve put forth some of my own. Just remember to be their cheerleader. Support > Sex in my opinion. If I can get both in one place, you’re stuck with me forever. I value someone there to pick me up when I’m in pieces and tell me everything will be fine, everyone wants that. Don’t kick someone when they’re down, and when they get back up; they’ll never forget who was there. If you can starve with me, you deserve to eat with me. And I don’t mean complain while we’re hungry either. Hold me down and I’ll be sure to pick you up.

Your hustle don’t ever go unnoticed, baby I’m with you, I’m with it…

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