YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE. It’s hard enough to change yourself and break your own bad habits, imagine trying to do that to someone who’s been “them” for the last two decades, at least? Don’t set yourself up for failure.
“A baby will keep him.“
Ladies, when a man is showing you he doesn’t respect himself, or you, why add anyone else into the mix? Babies don’t strengthen bad situations, typically they worsen them. Don’t be so needy that you sabotage your body and your freedom, in the hopes of keeping a man. Just go get another one, hell.
“I’ll just be cool, about everything.”
No man likes a nagging woman, granted. However, no man wants a woman who clearly will appease his every dick-head move either. You have to respect yourself, first.You can’t pretend to be cool with any and everything and then get mad when your man does any and everything. Put your foot down, just not on his neck. Learn the art of being assertive but not aggravating.
“He said he loves me, so he’ll just have to love me flaws and all.”
This all sounds good but in reality…only Beyonce can sing about being a bitch, neglectful, a train wreck and still being loved the same by her man. You’re not Beyonce, so have a seat. Now, if you come into the relationship one way and change drastically, your man has every right to say “hey, this ain’t what I signed up for.” Just as you would. Let’s not act like if you met a Billionaire and all of a sudden, lost everything, you would hold him down. You probably wouldn’t unless time was put in, and even then… So if you come into a man’s life looking like Miracle Watts & get comfortable and resemble Miracle Whip, don’t give him that “you’re supposed to love me unconditionally” BS. He’s not obligated to love you, if you’re no longer the woman he fell in love with.
“If I do everything right, he’ll never cheat on me or leave me!”
Cooking, sucking, f*cking, swallowing, bringing women home to allow him to cheat without cheating, ironing his clothes, washing his drawers, scratching his dandruff, cleaning, being liked by his friends, complimenting his mom, NONE OF THAT WILL CHANGE ANYTHING.
If a man wants to do anything, he will. No matter what you do or don’t do. I know (of, not personally) women who don’t even give head that are happily married, and super women who are single. Halle Berry was cheated on. Sanaa Lathan is single. All of these fine, flawless, successful women, experience the same fate that “regular” women do. So, to stop self sabotaging yourselves, don’t think that if you give him the World, he won’t find a broad who offers him the Universe. And maybe she doesn’t. Maybe it’s something small. Bottom line, you can’t force anything.
Don’t exhaust yourself trying to be Super Woman, unless you’ve found Clark Kent.
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