“It’s not me, it’s you” How To Dump Toxic People

We all have toxic people in our lives that should’ve been gone a long time ago. There’s at least 3 people right now that you know you need to cut ties with, but you won’t for some reason. Maybe you’re like me, and you see the good in people so you give chance after chance after chance. But how many chances are too many? Life is too short and you don’t owe shitty people anything.

1.The toxic co-worker.

This is the bitch mumbling and grumbling on Monday morning, about her shitty weekend. Her man did some dumb shit Saturday night. Her mom wouldn’t watch the kids. Her car broke down and it took AAA 45 minutes to come get her. She got caught in the rain on the way here. The Starbucks line was too long and she couldn’t get her coffee. There was traffic on the way. She missed the train. She hates this job and these meetings. She wants another job and she forgot her flats. You know all of this simply by saying “Good morning!” to the bitter bitch. Do you have to be bffs with her and go to lunch together? No. Are you professional enough to ignore her rants every day, for 8 hours? Yes. How do you politely tell his chick “girl, BYEEEEE!”? You blame work. The minute she sticks her head in your door, snatch the phone up and start dialing. Smile & mouth that you’ll talk later. If she corners you by the copier, suck your teeth loudly and say you forgot some shit at the fax machine. You could simply tell her “look, you’re really negative and I’ve got enough going on. I’m just here to work.” but this girl won’t take it constructively. And workplace tension sucks.

2. The toxic family member.

We all have that aunt/grandparent/cousin that we can’t really fuck with because they’re miserable and tell everyone’s business. For me, it’s my grandmother. And I always know she’s on the bullshit when she starts a sentence with “YOU KNOW THAT DAMN KIM…” Kim is my mother, and they’re like Tom & Jerry. I could call my grandmother to tell her I got a new job and she would start talking over my good news with complaints about everything and everybody. I used to just sit and “mm hmm” my way through it, rolling my eyes and holding the phone away the whole time. But I’m over it now, I simply tell her I didn’t call for all of that and that usually makes her hang up. But unlike the toxic co-worker, you can tell your toxic family member to go ahead on with that bullshit. If they feel some type of way, so what. You’re still gonna get a plate on Thanksgiving.

3. The toxic friend.

I had to cut off a few toxic friends in 2016 and I’ve never felt better about it. You don’t need friends who are in competition with you, make you doubt your capabilities, who only care about how you benefit them, and who you feel like you can’t be yourself around. Cut that person off and go make new friends. History doesn’t mean anything. If that’s been your boy/girl since high school, so what. You’re grown now, it’s okay if you’ve outgrown them but you don’t have to feel guilt tripped into staying their friend. Block them on social media, delete their number and move on. It’s not petty, you don’t have to bad mouth them to everyone, but if you need to cut them off; do so.

4. The toxic current/past relationship.

IF SOMEONE IS NOT MAKING YOU HAPPY, LEAVE THEM.

IF SOMEONE IS NOT TREATING YOU RIGHT, LEAVE THEM.

IF SOMEONE IS MAKING YOU FEEL UNLOVED, LEAVE THEM.

Don’t hold onto someone just because you’re afraid of being single or too lazy to start over. Trust me. Take it from someone who used to stay in relationships solely for those two reasons. I hate dating, it’s like interviewing over and over for the same job. I would rather meet someone I vibe with, and be cuffed the next day. If I had it my way, I would. But that’s not how life works out. You have to date the wrong ones so you can appreciate the right one. But you won’t ever meet the right one if you let fear of leaving, keep you in a shitty situation. It’s okay to compromise some things, not all things. And if its an ex, just do yourself a favor and cut all ties. Don’t follow them on social media anymore, for what? That seems like torture. If you have kids with an ex and it ended badly, just try your best to co-parent and nothing more. But if there’s nothing tying you to this person, why leave the door open?

You deserve happiness and positivity around you. Protect your energy and guard your space. It’s the most precious thing you have. Don’t allow just anyone in.

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