I see it often, a popping couple on social media. The girl posts her man, often and with thoughtful Monica quotes or some shit. The guy will post his girl’s wrist and say “Idk how she put up with my shit…” I don’t know how either. Now, this isn’t the case 100% of the time, but I see it pretty often. I was just in a relationship where affection was treated like a special treat. I’m not a damn Pomeranian, I’m human. And I need to be loved.
When I was having my daughter, the doctor was explaining to me how important it is to have skin to skin contact with my newborn and lots of attention and love. He said “babies can die if they’re not held or anything.” Basically if I put my daughter in her crib and never held her, or hugged her, or spoke to her; eventually she would die. Even if I fed and changed her daily. And I believe that shit. I felt like I would die some days, not literally cuz fuck that nigga but there were days I genuinely cried because all I wanted was a fucking kiss on my forehead or a real hug. Do you know how shitty it feels to have to ask for hugs and kisses, in a relationship? Like I wasn’t walking up to some random man on Marta with my arms outstretched. This was the man who’s dick I had tasted, I never even realized you could be intimate and not affectionate at the same time but here the fuck we were.
All I wanted was a “Damn baby you look good as shit!” on the days I looked good as shit, and a “Mmm!” when I was bending over cleaning or something. I wanted to feel wanted and it was pathetic. I started idolizing other couples on social media and out and about. Even though social media is smoke & mirrors, shit perception is reality. It was their reality. I wanted to look up and catch him staring at me, just once. I wanted someone who couldn’t stand to be away from me for too long. As crazy as it sounds, I wanted a man to be crazy over me. Just once. Why do some men act like being in love with your woman is corny? You know what’s corny? Not showing her affection or attention because she probably gets it anyways. I’ve legit seen guys argue that they refuse to compliment a woman because other men do. That’s YOUR woman though, by the time her work husband or that ashy nigga at Chick Fil A calls her pretty; she should’ve heard it from you. Because trust me, whatever you’re not doing; there is a man who will do it all and she’ll be gone. As she should be. You don’t get into a relationship to feel neglected. If anything, it should intensify as you fall deeper in love.
Milennial guys seem to be the worst at romance. Hell, I got more love letters and flowers when I was 15! You remember going and getting that double nameplate “____ & ____”?! Or getting that airbrushed shirt with ya’ll names and “4eva” on it?! Back in the day, a man wasn’t afraid to put your picture in his locker or all over his MySpace page. It’s like somewhere along the way, guys felt like they didn’t have to do any of that stuff anymore. Women are not completely innocent here either because there are some women who are incapable of showing affection too but naturally, we’re the nurturers. You don’t have to ask us to cook and have the house smelling good after a long/rough day. We just do shit for ya’ll. The next time your girl has a long day, don’t say “damn babe…I’m sorry to hear that.” Do something about it. The next time you’re out, just pick her up something that says “I thought about you” it could be something big or it could be small, she’ll appreciate it. Talk about how you’re feeling, stop shutting her out. Don’t leave plans up for her to figure out all of the time. The running joke is women never know what they want to eat so stop being a pussy and asking her, and make reservations. Send her that “be dressed by 8” text and have your shit together.
Have you ever wondered why the famous saying is happy wife, happy life and not anything about you niggas?