***NSFW; THE WORD “DICK” IS PRINTED 50LEM TIMES IN THIS POST***
Men think they’re in so much control when it comes to sex, that it’s laughable. In fact, it is the woman who chooses and by the time we choose; we’ve done research. Even if it’s a one-night stand, we’ve been taking notes. We’ve watched you walk across the room, noticed if you’re bow-legged or not (bow-legged men tend to have very sturdy meat that curves a bit). We’ve actually glimpsed at your print, depending on what you’re wearing, and if we’re in a club setting; that lap dance was for us, not you. We needed to see what was going on with your equipment. Did we feel it, did it feel big, did you get hard immediately, things like that. Women are just as much animals, as men, if not worse. Now, I can’t speak for all women but I’m sure most are going to agree with all of this.
DOES SIZE REALLY MATTER?!
This is tough because small-dick men will make a woman feel like a whore for preferring bigger. He’ll be hurt and lash out, saying something regarding that women who love big dicks don’t have walls. Well sweetie, we push 21 inch, 7 pound human beings out of our vaginas and still snatch you up so…I’d say that’s not the case. For me, length doesn’t matter as much as girth. What is girth?It’s
Now, the girth gawds? Ya’ll are Heaven sent. You guys can touch sides that we didn’t even realize we had. Every time feels like the first time. You all are the ones who have us cursing every time you touch us and walking like baby giraffes the morning after. You are appreciated. So I guess, it’s not really about size in terms of length, because a long dick means nothing without some weight on it. The man who ruined my life for 3 consecutive years? He was the length and size of my Comcast remote. But I don’t want dick that amazing again ever in my life. He had the kind of dick that had me sitting across from his girlfriend on their couch at 2am, and taking him back 3 months later. Demon dick.
WHY ARE WE OBSESSED WITH DICK PRINTS?
I don’t know about anyone else, but a dick print sometimes does more for me than seeing a naked penis on my phone. Get hard in your boxer briefs and grab it, snapchat that. Dick prints are glorious previews of what’s to come and they’re completely accidental so we know they’re authentic. A great dick print is like an appetizer. It’s enough to remind you that you’re starving, and prepares you for the actual meal. Men in suits have great dick prints, especially when they sit on a desk during a meeting and have no idea the complete outline of their dicks are visible. However, nothing tops the gray sweat pant print. Especially you fellas who don’t like to wear underwear. Women dick print watch everywhere. On the train, in the elevator, at the gym, I see you in Target, getting paper towels and shit. Keep up the great work.
Are there times when a dick print can be misleading? Totally. Some men are growers and not show-ers. But still, it’s fun for us to check you guys out for once. God knows you all get eyefuls of us on the daily.
DO WE LIKE THE WAY YOU TASTE?
A lot of men like for their women to swallow, and a lot of women wish their men ate better. Just like with our bodies, if you guys ate more fruit and less fast food; you would taste like goddamn vanilla chai or something. But aside from your cum, some of you just have delicious dicks. LOL. You could be fresh out of the shower, or coming in from work, and taste the same. You’ll know if your woman likes the taste of your dick by 2 things;
- How often she gives you head, and if she swallows. Some women don’t like the consistency of sperm, that’s fine. It’s a bit awkward if you let it sit, I get it. So treat it like a jello shot and throw it back. Duh. You’ll have some women who no matter what, will not let you cum in their mouths and damn sure won’t swallow, whatevs. But the other thing to look for, is how often you’re just minding your damn business and next thing you know, her mouth is on your meat. You didn’t ask for it. You didn’t nudge her head down. She was almost hungry to suck your dick. This is a woman who loves pleasing you because it pleases her, and more importantly; loves your dick.
- When she gives you head. If you’ve ever come straight home and she refused to taste you until you took a shower, maybe your hygiene isn’t up to par. However, if she will suck your dick on the highway on your way from a basketball game; you my friend, taste good naturally. If you think you have a problem with the way you smell or taste, take care of that. Baby wipes and powder go a long way when you’re away from home.
ARE DICKS ATTRACTIVE?
Not all dicks are created equal. Some are short and semi-hard, no matter what. Others are strong and veiny. Some have small heads, others look like fucking mushrooms. Some dicks are 2 or 3 different colors. I call them bomb pops. And I don’t like them, lol. Women do pay attention to pretty dicks though, so before you send that pic; grab some coconut oil and make sure you’re at your best. Don’t send her an ashy, sad, dick. She will send it in the group chat and we will all laugh.
WHAT ELSE DO WOMEN LIKE?
EYE like, emphasis on I, like to watch men touch themselves in front of me. Like, you don’t have to full on fap and get real into it, but just hold it and stroke it. Look me in the eyes and tell me what to do with it. Ride it, suck it, something. I like for men to refer to their dick’s as a pronoun lol. It’s kind of corny, but nowhere as corny as naming it. Just a “he” or “him”. There’s probably a million things women like about dicks, you just have to try shit out and see. Take it and paint her lips with it while she’s giving you head, idk. But don’t be afraid to ask questions and explore, especially with your girl. And if there’s something you want done to your dick, communicate that also.
I can’t say what made me write this post other than being single, tipsy and horny lol. I miss good dick. I haven’t had good dick in a while and most women would be ashamed to say that. As you probably already know from reading my blogs; I’m not a woman easily ashamed. My last relationship? Tragic. I said I was going to talk about it, didn’t I? I hope no feelings are hurt, but who knows? Maybe he’ll read this and change for the next girl. Or he’ll sling the phone across the room and yell “FUCK OUTTA HERE” Idk.
So, let’s just get to the point. His dick was trash but there were moments when his sex was good. And a lot of men don’t understand that. Why was it trash? Size, it was short and slim. No girth, no swollen head, no veins. I can’t ever remember him entering me and my breath getting caught in my throat or my walls throbbing. But it was okay lol because I liked him more than I liked his dick. (Never again, btw) He was perfect for anal, but 100% too closed minded to try it. First mistake. Going down on him was easy, because I could put forth half the effort but honestly, it was boring. He never grabbed my throat and fucked my mouth back, he never hissed or cursed under his breath, he never got into it enough to enjoy it. And before you say it’s me, uh, my head game is legendary so no. There was one time that he was really good, but he wasn’t consistently good. He was lazy. He didn’t speak, or make any kind of noise. He stared blankly, he wasn’t big on foreplay, it’s pissing me off to even type this lmfao. I felt like I was going to severely cheat on him or leave, so I left. That wasn’t the only issue but it was 70% of my resentment towards him. Apparently, dick is a bigger deal in relationships than I gave it credit.
Guys don’t understand that its more than just having a dick that goes into pleasing a woman. Unlock all of her senses, not just her vagina. Talk in her ear, tell her how good that shit feels. Demand that she cums. When you’re eating her out, touch her, groan and get into it, eat that thing from the back and if eating ass isn’t your thing, cool. But get. the. fuck. into. it. Look at her while she rides, slap her ass and spread it. Fuck the shit out of your woman, every time, no matter what kind of dick you have. Even when you’re gentle and making love to her, stroke her deliberately and deeply. Find out whatever she loves and perfect your skills. You can’t just have a big dick and lay there, and you damn sure can’t have trash dick and do nothing.